The Great Illinois Sasquatch Invasion

By Dr. Abner Mality

And now, humanoids, a little bit of personal information about Yours Truly, Dr. Abner Mality. Though I have walked in the strange places of the world...swam in the underwater grottoes of Mexico, scaled the forbidden peaks of Bhutan,hacked my way through the jungles of Laos...I call Northern Illinois my home. And in many ways, Rockford and the many little towns that surround it are as peculiar as many farflung sites of odd phenomena. Even ignoring the odd people that live in the Land of Lincoln (and there are plenty), you can discover many tales of unearthly spirits, ancient mysteries, and enigmatic beasts. This article will primarily be concerned with hairy, man-like monsters spotted in Ilinois over the years.

It seems impossible to believe that the cousins of Bigfoot may be roaming the State. Where I live, the out of control growth and sprawl are getting ready to insure you won't even be able to see a fucking deer in five years, much less seven foot hominids. But the truth is, there are still many parts of the state, particularly the Southern portions, that are still sparsely populated and where the dread empire of Wal-Mart has not yet choked out all green and growing things. The huge expanse of the Shawnee National Forest is mostly untouched and comprises tens of thousands of acres. The swampy areas along the Mississippi River are also pretty wild.

Bigfoot-like man-beasts have been spotted in Illinois for years. They range in size from almost chimp-like "Napes" (short for "North American Apes", a term coined by paranormal investigator Loren Coleman) to truly menacing eight to ten footers. In 1929, there was a big flap near the Northwestern Illinois community of Elizabeth caused by sightings of a "big gorilla" in the wooded hills near the town. For most of the year, sightings were made of an ape-like beast. It was suggested the creature truly was a gorilla on the loose, but no zoo or circus reported such a beast missing. At any rate, the sightings there lasted only a year.

Decatur, Illinois was the site of several different "Bigfoot" scares. In 1962, two local men named Steven Collins and Robert Earle saw a large hairy creature that was a dirty grey color near a river. The beast was accompanied by a dreadful stench, which is a common theme in these cases, and soon disappeared. Perhaps it was the same monster that terrorized horny teenagers who frequented a lonely "lover's lane" near Decatur in 1965. A huge black man-ape scared off necking couples in the remote area. The kids were so scared by the experience that they called the cops to check it out. The police saw nothing, but were absolutely convinced the teenagers were out of their wits with fear. Except for the difference in color, the creature could have been the same as the one in the 1962 sighting.

The early 70's brought such a spate of monster sightings that Illinois easily rivalled the Pacific Northwest for Bigfoot activity. Granted, Bigfoot was at the height of its popularity during this time, which probably contributed to people thinking they saw him everywhere, but even so, some of the best investigated and most solid monster sightings in American history took place in Illinois at this time.

The Great Illinois Sasquatch Invasion got its start in 1970 around the rural Southern Illinois town of Farmer City. As is usual, it was a bunch of teenagers fooling around in the woods who got things rolling. After camping out just outside of town, three teens were terrified to see a huge dark man-like shape advancing through the undergrowth towards their tent. All three made note of the Farmer City Monster's most notable feature...its large, glowing yellow eyes. As with the Decatur incident described earlier, the kids impressed local authorities with their sincere terror.

That was the trigger point for a whole bunch of Farmer City sightings. Suddenly, everybody was seeing the lumbering beast. And it wasn't only kids, either. Police officer Robert Hayslip had his own run-in with the Farmer City Monster when he almost bumped into it with his squad car. The Monster ran off into the nearby woods but not before Hayslip got a good look at its glowing yellow eyes.

The monster then roamed around a number of tiny towns in the vicinity of Farmer City. It was spotted near Bloomington, Heyworth and Waynesville. Waynesville seemed to be a particular center of activity, as the creature was seen in roughly the same location by both a construction crew and a group of young men. The construction crew sighting on August 16 was considered the last of the Farmer City Monster sightings...the flap died down and things went back to normal.

It is unlikely that it was the same type of monster that came to be known as "Cohomo" in the spring of 1972. Cohomo was the next major Bigfoot-like creature to be seen in Illinois, but he was both bigger and weirder than his Farmer City cousin. He was first sighted by a young fellow named Randy Emmert near the lonely Cole Hollow Road in Central Illinois between Peoria and Pekin. Emmert described the monster as huge, standing at least 8 feet tall and being covered in long, grey-white hair. The creature made an loud and uncanny shriek that terrified Emmert and the friends who were with him. Returning later to the scene, a very odd footprint with 3 toes was found in the dirt. This was another distinguishing mark of Cohomo.

Emmert's report started a monster-sighting frenzy that made the Farmer City incidents look paltry in comparison. The monster got its nickname Cohomo as an abbreviation of COle HOllow Road MOnster. By June, hundreds of report of Cohomo were called in from people young and old alike. Finally, in July, police organized a huge "posse" to try and track down the beast. The hunt ended comically when one of the volunteers got excited and shot himself in the leg.

Cohomo next popped up in the summer of 1973 around Edwardsville, but his appearances were less frequent. In one case, a witness claimed the creature clawed him, but this report is of a more dubious nature than usual. Always Cohomo was described as being near water and smelling dreadfully. Although nowhere near as frequently as in the 70's, sightings are still made of the creepy critter. The last authenticated one came in 2000, but one can only guess how many people have failed to report what they have seen due to fear of ridicule.

The biggest and most famous spate of Bigfoot sightings in Illinois was yet to come. This was the famous "Murphysboro Mud Monster" flap of 1973 which remains one of the most intense and best documented Bigfoot incidents in American history. It took place in Southwestern Illinois near the Mississippi River and the vast Shawnee National Forest.

Technically, the whole thing only lasted two weeks, but what a two weeks they were. Not only was the Murphysboro area seized by a Bigfoot frenzy, but people from around the world were following the story. It was truly a special event. It started on June 25, 1973, when young lovebirds, Randy Needham and Judy Johnson, were out "fooling around" by a quiet stretch of the Big Muddy River. Without warning, a loud, bone-chilling roar shook the night air. If Randy and Judy were in the middle of "something intimate", I'd imagine this racket deflated Mr. Needham in a hurry! Scared, the couple saw a large grey/white hairy figure stalking towards them, unleashing another roar.

That was enough for Randy and Judy. They started their car and hotfooted it back to the Murphysboro Police Department. Once more, police were convincee the pair had seen something. "They were terrified," recalled Ron Manwaring, who was the Murphysboro Police Chief at the time."I'm convinced they saw something that night." So convinced was Mainwaring that he sent two of his officers, Meryl Lindsay and Jimmy Nash, to investigate the scene.

The officers were quickly on the alert when they found huge distorted footprints a foot long in the muddy murk near the river.More officers were called to the scene and the cops were considering their next move when another terrifying scream jolted them. The lawmen decided discretion was the better part of valor and they hurriedly got the hell out of the area. Years later, the police were still shook when talking about the incident.

Once the story about the footprints and the encounter with the police got out, the Mud Monster story exploded like an atom bomb. The very next night, Triple M was spotted up close and personal by a number of people living in a riverside neighborhood. The seven foot tall white haired beast simply ambled right across some people's yards, stinking up the area with its foul stench. Once again, some footprints were found.

On the fourth of July 1973, some workers at a local festival saw more than just fireworks. When some ponies tethered in the trees near the forest became agitated, the carny workers investigated...and came face to face with the Murphysboro Mud Monster, who was calmly observing the frightened horses.

Now the media were on the case, including the Chicago Tribune and New York Times. The sleepy little town was invaded by monster hunters. For two weeks starting with the Needham/Johnson sightings, monster activity was intense in the area. There were crank calls, hysterical misidentification of common animals and mistakes galore...but there were also a core of very serious sightings. And the footprints impressed most who saw them.

And then...the sightings stopped. A creature was spotted a few miles away in the fall of 1973, but that was basically it. The Murphysboro Mud Monster flap was over, bringing to a close an incredible 3 year period in Central and Southern Illinois where the whole area seemed under assault by Bigfoot.

Large hairy creatures are still spotted from time to time in the wilds of Illinois. Some of them fit the description of the hulking Bigfoot we all know. Others seem to be of a smaller ape like a chimp or a baboon. These smaller beasts are the "Napes" we spoke of earlier. Loren Coleman, who came up with the term, theorizes that there is a stable population of these native apes living in the river bottoms of the American South.

A number of people feel that Cohomo and Triple M were bear sightings that got wildly exaggerated and out of hand. It's not impossible. But what about footprints and even bits of hair that were found and not identified? The shrieks of the Mud Monster were never identified and many of those who heard it were familiar with local wildlife.

In the cold light of day, living in an area where more strip malls are growing than corn crops, it seems absurd that a population of large anthropoids could be dwelling in a reasonably tamed state like Illinois. But at night, driving on a lonely road or walking by a bend of a murmuring river, it's a lot easier to believe in Bigfoot...

This is Dr. Abner Mality, turning out the lights...