Howdy, y'all! This here's Doc Mality, invitin' ya to our very final Wormwood Files in print. Don't be sad, folks, cause there's plenty of corn liquor to drown yer sorrows in!

And let's head back into the hill country, where people know their likker, to explore one of the strangest cases of alien attack ever recorded. Yep, it was tiny Kelly, Kentucky that was the site of what can only be called an alien invasion...by glowing, indestructible goblins!

No, dadgum it, I ain't crazy (well, not that way, anyhow) and the folks this happened to swear they weren't, neither. However, if what Billy Ray Taylor and his kinfolk saw on Aug. 21, 1955, was for real, then there are some mighty strange critters havin' fun with us Earthlings.. And nobody's been able to prove it didn't happen yet!

It was a warm night back in the holler where Billy Ray's house was located, far off the beaten path. On that particular night, ten of Billy's kinfolk were in the house, palaverin' and enjoying each other's company. Going out to the well to draw water, Billy Ray saw a strange sight. A queer silver craft flew overhead and appeared to land in the valley right next to Taylor's. Billy Ray ran back into the house to tell the others what he had seen but they thought that old boy was either foolin' or wasn't seein' things right and they laughed it off. Don't imagine that made B.R. feel too good. Well, what happened next nobody could laugh off.

Almost exactly one hour after the whachamacallit landed, Billy Ray and some of his family were outside the house. They saw a strange light bobbing through the trees, coming towards them. The hair on Taylor's neck went up. As the light got closer, they could see it was a man-shaped little figure that glowed like a will o'wisp.

It was the damndest thing anyone had ever seen. It could only be called a goblin or a troll. It stood only about 3 feet high or so and the face was crazy. It had giant round eyes without pupils that sat on the side of the head like a chameleon's. There were giant floppy ears that came to a point. There was no nose and the mouth was just a slit. The legs were very short and slight but the arms were long and had webbed hands with claws on them. There wasn't a lick of hair on him and he glowed like a lightning bug. He didn't make a sound.

Well, sir, Billy and the boys didn't need to see much more. The hill folk aren't much for negotiating or science. They went for their shotguns and blasted that goblin when he was within 20 yards of the house. The critter didn't drop like it should have...it did a weird "backflip" and came up on its feet again. It ran away into the forest. But it wasn't alone. The hillbillies noticed that there were several of the same type of goblins all around the house, hanging in the trees and getting closer .

Scared witless, the Taylors opened fire and retreated into their house. The goblins kept trying to look in the windows and there was noises on the roof. It didn't seem possible but the family was under siege by these weird beings from parts unknown. The goblins didn't really seem hostile but they sure scared the hell out of the Taylors. Once, when Billy Ray stuck his head outside to see if he had killed any of them, a goblin sitting above the door grabbed a handful of his hair! Crazed with fear, Billy Ray wrenched his head back inside, leaving a hunk of hair with the goblin who'd grabbed it.

The siege went on for several hours. The people were afraid to do much of anything...every time they peeked outside, the goblins were still there. They had no phone out there in the sticks to call for help. Finally, their nerves shot, they decided to make a break for it. The whole kit n' kaboodle piled into the two cars outside after a mad dash and then tore off like a bat out of hell to Hopkinsville, the nearest town with police. All the way, they looked to see if the goblins or their craft were after them but they weren't.

When they barged into the sherriff's office in the middle of the night, they were so dadgummed scared that the Sherriff couldn't make sense out of what they were saying. But he knew they were consumed with fear that couldn't be faked. He knew something had terrified them.

Soon, with a whole posse of police and even a couple of newsmen in tow, the Taylors made their way back to their homestead to find...nothing. The house was as they left it and there was no sign of the goblins. Was it all a hoax? Billy Ray was adamant about what the family had seen and the rest of them vigorously supported the story. The Sherriff and his boys decided to take a look around.

Nobody but the Taylors ever saw the goblins but the police did find some peculiar patches of burnt ground and evidence that Billy Ray and the menfolk had fired their guns at something. The police had the uneasy feeling they were being observed all the time they were at the house. But finally, there was nothing left for the police to do but go home.

That was not the end of the story, for as Billy Ray and his immediate family tried to settle back into the house after every one else had gone, they again noticed the silvery glow of the goblins lurking in the surrounding countryside. This time, the critters did not come as close as they did before nor did they seem as curious. The Taylor family simply shut up their house and decided to wait until dawn. When it came, the weird invaders had disappeared...never to return.

Was the whole tale just a bunch of hooey concocted by some tale-spinnin' rednecks in the Kentucky Hills? Those who spoke to the Taylors didn't think so and while nobody actually could say they were attacked by glowing silver goblins from outer space, they couldn't say it didn't happen, either. The Taylors stick by the story to this very day.

And what about the goblins themselves? Even in the annals of UFO lore, there's never been a case quite like this. When you look at their behavior, it seems almost like something a bunch of alien pranksters or juvenile delinquents would do, not a bunch of serious extraterrestrial explorers. Do UFO aliens have their jokers, too?

Well, I'm mighty sorry to see y'all go, but be sure to check out www.wormwoodchronicles.com! This is Dr. Abner Mality, turnin' out them dadburn lights!

To contact this writer, send your email to: drmality@wormwoodchronicles.com.