First of all, I must digress. It feels funny to talk about Mike, I mean Seymour, as a real professional wrestler. You see, I grew up with the kid in Erie, Pennsylvania, and it seems like only yesterday he was the youngest in our group at the Lake Erie Backyard Wrestling Federation, where I was pounding him over the head with lawn chairs as the LEBWF Heavyweight Champion (until one day I put over my friend Jamie, and the bastard never put me back over, but that's another story).

If you would like to hear what it's like to become a real, live professional wrestler, read on, but forget the stories you see on "Tough Enough" because word is the show is a work. Vince McSatan didn't like the entries in the contest so he tossed in a couple of ringers, but then, both MTV and the WWF have made a career of advertising things as being real that aren't. Aside from that, our conversation went on about All Pro Wrestling where you can find the Snotts, and APW's top stars, Mike Modest and Donovan Morgan.

To become a professional wrestler, the first thing Phillips did was he found a respected training school. After serving in the Air Force, Phillips sought a book by Dennis Brent and Paul Bearer where he found a wrestling school in Hayward, Calif., just 45 minutes from San Francisco. He joined the school where he was trained by Mike Modest, one of the top indie. leaguers in the world today (more on him later).

Phillips joined the school where they put him through rigorous cardio training. Then he learned how to take bumps, and some amateur wrestling. Mike had a head start here since he wrestled in high school, where he ranked third in the metro in Erie at the 103 lbs. level. "Wrestling in high school helped by teaching me how to grapple initially and it gave me the right approach," Mike said. So don't sell real wrestling short, even in today's game.

Next, he learned how to do lock-ups, headlocks, and stances. This helps young trainees get comfortable in the ring. They then learn basic holds like arm-bars, drop toe-holds and front face-locks. Finally, they start learning higher risk moves like arm drags, and flying arm drags. Once trainees reach the semi-pro camp, they're ready to put these moves together in spots, like headlock-takedowns. This is also where they learn the most safety precautions when bumping out of the ring, taking and doing dropkicks, punches, forearms, and suplexes.

But training takes a while. Mike entered the camp in October, 1998 and debuted in October, 1999, while still in training. His first match was a battle royal, where after he was tossed out, several other wrestlers started an impromptu fight on the outside that and Mike found himself in the middle of the melee. "When we got to the back, we were all laughing about it," Phillips recalled.

Since then his resume has grown including performing in front of as many as 1000 fans. He met a 7-foot behemoth in Giant Singh where he took a giant choke-slam, and once met Prototype, a WWF trainee. He's also refereed matches, including one with the legendary Iron Sheik, and has cut interviews for Killer Kowalski's indie. league in Massachusetts. Now his repertoire includes the X-Factor (which he lovingly calls the Snott-Rag), a bulldog off the second rope, the spinning head-scissors, a short-arm clothesline, and an occasional d.d.t. Of course he also does the WORM, but the crowd chants "N.E.R.D." instead of the customary "W.O.R.M." "We're supposed to be geeks. We started out as heels, but one day the crown started cheering us," Phillips stated.

Phillips' trainer, Mike Modest, who's had numerous tryouts with WCW in their waning days, is catching on with NOAH in Japan.. "He's an excellent teacher, and has patience. He's very smooth, and does moves flawlessly. He could be the next big American star in Japan like Vader or Scott Norton," Phillips added. Modest was trained by Ricky Thompson, formerly of Roy Shires' AWA in San Francisco, the same promotion that made stars out of Ray "The Crippler" Stevens, Pat Patterson, and "Playboy" Buddy Rose (well, before he put on all that weight, he was a star).

Modest came up with the idea of the Snott Brothers tag team, and Roland Alexander, who owns APW, decided to give that gimmick to Phillips. "He gave me the gimmick, and told me to run with it," Phillips said. Run with it he did, as now on shows Seymour is seen fixing his glasses, hiking up his pants, or straightening his tie before big moves. "It's kind of like a combination of being a rock n' roll star, and entertainment and sports all rolled into one," he continued. Vinnie Massaro (a.k.a., The Innovator), APW's training camp instructor, came up with Seymor's signature moves.

But wrestling is not all fun and games. The injuries are sometimes very real. Phillips has been split open accidentally three times, had his shoulder was dislocated three or four times (once against Giant Singh), and he bruised his lower back in his short career so far. Also, Seymour is already on his second tag partner, since his original partner, George C. Snott (the "Patton" of the wrestling world, no doubt!--Dr. Mality) was injured and retired in January. Mike's new partner, Big Peter Snott is 5'8" and weighs an enormous 370 lbs. "I'm the Ricky Morton of our team," Phillips joked, meaning he gets his tail kicked for long periods of time before making the hot tag.

Since Mike Modest is taking so many dates in Japan these days, Donovan Morgan has taken over training responsibilities at All Pro Wrestling. Morgan recently worked the Pillman Memorial show, and was awarded the 2001 Cauliflower Alley Award by a group of wrestling legends, an award which Kurt Angle won in the past. Morgan also accompanied Modest on his latest tour of Japan, and has appeared on WWF Jakked.

APW promotes monthly wrestling cards around the bay area, usually in Vallejo, Calif. at the Sports Center, or at basketball courts and soccer fields. But if you are in the San Francisco Bay Area and wish to see the Snott Brothers in action, arrive early, because they usually appear toward the beginning of the card. "We're over with the fans because we're more the entertainment part of the show. We get the crowd going," Phillips said.

For the future, Phillips is looking for additional shows to appear on. "I'd just like to get my name out to as many promoters as possible. Training is great in California, but I'd like to get to an area where I can work more shows," he said. "I'm a pro now, so I work on stuff in the ring like my offense. I improve myself whether it be selling or bumping. And hopefully, the Snotts will be APW Tag Team Champions in the future," he laughed.

Sir Lawrence Alegdrop is a disgraced member of the British royalty with an affinity for pro wrestling. He is assisted by Bill Camp, who writes a wrestling nostalgia column at http:www.kayfabememories.com. To contact this writer, send your email to: alegdrop@wormwoodchronicles.com