by Dr. Mality
Humanoids, you are here with me at a pivotal point in the history of film. For in this very article, I, Dr. Abner Mality, shall reveal unto you a movie unlike any other ever made. An unjustly forgotten masterpiece that will astonish all those dare to experience it! Yes, it is my great privilege to launch a renaissance for this great film and bring it to the attention of the slack-jawed masses!
The film is the legendary "Godmonster of Indian Flats", written, produced and directed by the unduly ignored Frederic Hobbs!
I've been tracking this one down for almost 8 years, since I first saw an excerpt of it at Colossal Dave's house long ago. The images I saw that night burned themselves into my brain. I dedicated myself to tracking this obscure, indescribable film down...and after long struggle and great personal cost (about $20), this I have done. My friends, can you accept a movie that brings you the story of a GIANT MUTANT SHEEP?!
Yes, yes, you will look at that leg of lamb in a completely different light after seeing "The Godmonster of Indian Flats". That was no typo above... the movie is indeed about a shambling, grotesque bipedal sheep that resembles a cross between a bedraggled Fozzy Bear and the baby from "Eraserhead". And yet it is about so much more. I hunted for a movie merely about a monster sheep and stumbled upon a true allegory.
First, a little background. The movie was given a limited release in 1973 but then disappeared from sight for years. Obviously the world was not ready...and still may not be! "The Godmonster of Indian Flats" was the final and greatest achievement of the director Frederic Hobbs, a man who should now take his place with Ed Wood and Al Adamson as a master of low-budget, out-of-control, totally bizarre film. Hobbs got his start in the "lost" film "Troika", where he starred as himself. The movie also featured characters called "Mr. Goodloins" and "Bug Man" and I suspect chemicals may have had more than a little to do with it. Anyone who has seen this film or has a clue as to where it can be found, contact the Good Doctor in haste. I will pay handsomely for it!
Hobbs gained a little more notice with his next film, "Roseland". It was about the fall from grace of a singer who used dirty lyrics during an appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and wound up stealing porno movies for his own amusement! The film also involved black magic cultists, LSD and a hippie commune, so you know it had to be swingin'! Hobbs' next project was the berserk "Alabama's Ghost". In this classic, a black high school janitor stumbles upon magical equipment in a cave and becomes a world-famous magician who gets involved with vampires, Satanists and hippies! The film was moderately successful on the drive-in circuit and got Hobbs some notoriety. It also proved he was one weird son of a bitch.
Now the stage was set for Hobbs' greatest achievement, "The Godmonster of Indian Flats". Hobbs got permission to film the movie in the actual historical landmark town of Virginia City, Nevada, in the heart of mining country....let me now attempt to do justice to this film with a brief synopsis.
The movie opens promisingly as beautiful church music is played over a scene of sheep being herded into a truck. The religious overtones are immediately apparent. We follow the path of Eddie, a goofy Basque sheepherder who hits the jackpot at a Reno casino and then gets swindled and beaten up at an Old West style whorehouse. From there, Eddie is picked up by the pompous Dr. Clemons, who is conducting mysterious experiments at a remote location, aided only by his tripped-out hippie girl assistant Mariposa. The Doc drops Eddie off at a sheep paddock where he can spend the night frolicking with his bleating buddies.
Then, in a scene that will have every sane viewer questioning reality, Eddie has a bizarre vision of flying sheep, floating piles of bones and an orange light meant to resemble fire though it looks more like a flashing road construction beacon. While this is going on, one of the sheep gives birth to what looks like either a mass of squishy red plastic or something you'd see at China Buffet. When Dr. Clemons finds the traumatized Eddie, he immediately makes a note on his recorder: "We appear to have stumbled upon a find of vast scientific importance!" Naturally, he gathers up the mutant sheep embryo and takes it to his lab.
Meanwhile, trouble is brewing in the town of Indian Flats. The town is run lock stock and barrel by Paul Silverdale (the sartorial Stuart Lancaster), a historical preservation freak who keeps an iron grip on the whole area. He is aided in this by his drunken psycho sidekick Mr. Maldove, a disgraced Wall Street Financier, and the pudgy, oafish Sherriff Gordon. But now a multi-million dollar company wants to buy the whole town to start mining operations, a move which Silverdale bitterly opposes. The mining company is represented by the suave African-American Christopher Barnstable, who simply does not know what the hell he is getting into.
The scene shifts to "Indian Flats' Historical Days", a Wild West celebration resembling Freeport's Tutty Baker Days. A crazy plan is hatched by Silverdale and cronies to humiliate Barnstable. During a shooting contest (with Barnstable dressed as a cowboy and looking like Cleavon Little in "Blazing Saddles"), Sherrif Gordon's trained dog plays dead and Gordon blames Barnstable for the "murder". "Killer! Dog killer! Murderer!" he yells, turning the townspeople against the outsider. "It's just a damn dog," Barnstable mutters.
Believe it or not, we then get treated to an elaborate fake funeral for the dog, who isn't even dead. Maldove delivers a somber eulogy a to packed house: "He was just a dog but he brought joy and gaiety into our lives...until a bullet struck him down." Maldove is particularly hateful towards Barnstable,who encouraged the town children to throw pies at the drunken henchman.
The dead dog ruse fails to get rid of the determined Barnstable so an even more insidious plan is formulated. Maldove lures Barnstable to hisapartment, bashes him over the head with a bottle, shoots himself in the arm with a gun and then puts the gun in Barnstable's hand. A frame job! When Barnstable awakes in Sherrif Gordon's dinky jail, he can't believe what's happened...so he starts belting out gospel music while Gordon is busy demolishing a huge piece of meat loaf! I must say, Barnstable has a wonderful singing voice, right up there with Luther VanDross.
It isn't enough for Maldove to frame Barnstable. He now wants to lynch him KKK style so he gets together a black-hooded group of vigilantes called "The Society of 601" (who I guess are much more effective than the Society of 428 or 376) who raid the jail, pull Barnstable out into the night and get ready to hang him.
Things get crazier yet when Barnstable is rescued by the town's goofy fortune teller/madam and taken to Dr. Clemons' hideout! Ah, you thought we'd forgotten about Dr. Clemons and the sheep embryo, eh? Hardly. The embryo has now grown into a full blown monster that the Doc keeps in a glass cage. But when the vigilantes attack the compound, the loathsome lamb critter breaks out of its cage, kills one of the vigilantes and goes roaming about the countryside! The sheep has hit the fan!
Humanoids, you have to see this creature to believe it. The lower part is like those hillbilly bears you see in Disneyland but covered with ratty wool. The upper part is dominated by the distorted immobile sheep's head without skin. A black crusty tongue is always jutting out. The most amazing thing is that one of the monster's forelimbs is four times longer than the other and hangs uselessly at all times. A crazier critter has rarely been seen. Yet despite the cheapness of "The Godmonster", you won't forget it once you see it, especially since the poor beast does not really seem nasty at all. It's a persecuted victim of evil, ignorant humans.
Dr. Clemons wants the creature taken alive. So does Silverdale but only to make a buck off it. With the monster on the loose, Silverdale takes control of all the TV and Radio in Indian Flats, declaring martial law like a petty dictator. He sends a group of cowboys out to rope the beast in. Meanwhile, the kind and air-headed Mariposa finds the monster and actually starts dancing with it to calm it down. That attempt seems to be going well until dumb Eddie breaks it up by throwing a rock at the monster.
The Godmonster now encounters humans regularly in its wandering. One great scene has it sneaking up on a children's picnic. The best part comes when it invades an old-fashioned gas station, causing the owner to panic and blow the place to kingdom come in fiery fashion! But finally, the pathetic monster is lassoed and roped by a group of cowboys (played by the real-life Washoe Horseman's Association, who must have wondered what in hell they were doing) and placed under lock and key by Silverdale.
That leads to the film's exciting and virtually incomprehensible conclusion, which takes place in the town dump, as Silverdale unveils the caged Godmonster to the public. The sight of the Beast causes the town's population to lose their minds, attacking the monster, Silverdale and each other in an orgy of senseless violence. Stuart Lancaster is great during this scene, shrieking like an old time preacher: "Make them pay! Make them all pay! We are the custodians of an era! Violence in the name of justice has always controlled the masses! Make them pay!"
What happens to the Godmonster? What's the fate of the unfortunate Mr. Barnstable? How does Maldove wind up? Ah, my friends...you must see the movie to find out! And believe me, even when you do see it, you may not
believe what your stunned eyes have just witnessed!
"Godmonster of Indian Flats" should be right up there with "King Kong"! It's more than just a monster movie, it's a parable for our times. I think the title itself gives you a clue...the poor distorted sheep is actually the reincarnation of Christ himself, crucified by an unfeeling world! And there are more subtexts yet...history versus capitalism, a mediation on fascism and so much more. The weird character twists, like having Maldove a former Wall St. big shot, Barnstable a gospel singer, Dr. Clemons' assistant a hippy girl...they all add to the intense individuality of the film!
Frederick Hobbs, you shall suffer in obscurity no more! From this day forward, let the Wormwood Chronicles proclaim your genius to all the masses! "Godmonster of Indian Flats" is a rediscovered epic for the new
millenium! This Lamb has risen again!
(Special thanks to Gerry Carpenter at www.scifilm.org)
This is Dr. Abner Mality, turning out the baaa baaa...........
To contact this writer, send your email to: drmality@wormwoodchronicles.com.